Ah, Pluto—the celestial underdog, god of the underworld, and, curiously, also the god of wealth. It’s like the universe’s way of saying, “Money won’t make you happy, but it will definitely drag you into the depths.” So fitting that we get words like plutocracy (rule by the rich), plutocrats (rich people who rule), and plutomania—which is either a wild obsession with money or the delusion that you’re already rolling in it. I personally flip between both. Sometimes I’m convinced I’m one click away from buying a yacht; other times, I’m just collecting Monopoly money and calling it “diversifying my assets.”
Then there’s plutonium—not rich or fancy, just hanging out next to Neptunium in the periodic table because it’s Pluto’s neighbor in space. Which is hilarious because Pluto itself is barely even a planet anymore. Just like plutonium, which causes destruction and chaos, Pluto has been wreaking havoc in the solar system by constantly shifting its planetary status. One minute it’s a planet, the next it’s not, and now it’s… what, a dwarf planet? The ultimate glow-down.
And let’s not forget about Disney’s Pluto, the dog who was named after the planet, only a few months later. I mean, imagine being a celestial body and getting demoted from planet status, only to have a cartoon dog upstage you in cultural relevance. Rough.
Lastly, we have Operation Pluto from WWII, which stands for Pipelines Under The Ocean. I like to think this was just some military official thinking, “What’s the most dramatic, underworld-sounding name we can give to some underwater fuel pipes? Oh yeah, Pluto!” Because nothing screams tactical brilliance like invoking the ruler of the underworld for a plumbing project.
So, there you have it—Pluto: the god, the planet, the dog, and the military pipeline. And with that, this little journey through space and time drifts off, much like Pluto itself—still important, still mysterious, and still waiting for a promotion back to full planetary status.
Oh, and if anyone’s wondering, yes, philoplutary means “lover of money.” So if you’ve got any spare cash, feel free to share some of that plutocratic wealth. I promise not to spend it on Monopoly.